Help for Families Impacted by Transgenderism
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Redeemed and Reconciled Banquet 2019
Devoted to Help
Our Mission is to help families and their loved ones impacted by transgenderism.
Secrets I Knew but did not share
What was your biggest concern when you were nine years old? Was it trying to memorize your multiplication facts? Was it that the school cafeteria might serve your least favorite vegetable at lunch? Perhaps it was something more serious, that your parents were talking of getting divorced. My biggest concern at age nine was how to keep my daddy’s secret, the one he revealed to me as we sat alone on the hill near our home. My dad wanted to be a woman, and along with that revelation, he included several sordid sexual details.
His confession left me confused and hurt. I desired to have a dad who would love and cherish me—who would make me feel special. I wanted to try to “fix” him so he’d be the kind of dad any normal nine-year-old would want. But I couldn’t fix him. And, as I soon learned, he didn’t want to change. By the age of eleven, I had experienced emotional and sexual abuse by my dad. I continued to keep my daddy’s secret and mine locked away deep down in my heart. I began to reason that my dad’s apparent lack of love for me meant I wasn’t really his daughter, that he and my mom must have adopted me. Often, when I was home alone, I’d scour the house—even the attic—for paperwork that would confirm my suspicions. But my searches were fruitless.
My teenage years revolved around drowning myself with bottles of wine as I began to look for a father’s love elsewhere, each time coming out with emptiness in my heart. Time passed by and I turned 15 years old. By this point, I had struggled with my own sexuality and my gender. I had begun to seriously consider taking drugs, but God had another plan. God had sent a friend named Mark into my life. Mark showed me respect and always presented a genuine, caring heart. During our dating years, he could not understand my cold shoulder attitude towards my dad. One day after a date, Mark parked the jeep in the school parking lot and said, “I am not going to take no for an answer this time, I want to know why you dislike your dad so much”. So, I spilled the beans, and guess what? He did not run the other way. Instead, he listened and heard every word and feeling that I expressed.
My Dad as a man
Thinking about a sex change? Don’t do it! That is the advice I wish someone would have given me. I had the sex change. I “pass” fine. My career is good, but you cannot imagine the number of times I’ve wished I could go back and see if there was another way. Despite following all the rules and being as honest as I could with the medical folks at each stage, nobody stopped me and said, “Are you honest to God, absolutely sure this is the ONLY path for you?” To the contrary, the voices all cheerfully supported my decision by parading their “successful transition” and encouraging others to do the same.
My Dad As Becky
What’s involved for someone who struggles with transgender feelings?
Restoration begins with the desire to become reconciled with early, unresolved childhood emotional wounds; events in early developmental years which threatened or undermined a person’s feelings of security, peace, warmth, comfort, and a secure sense of being deeply and unconditionally/uniquely loved.